"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." -Ambrose Redmoon
For my dog/my parents' dog, Wilma. I say my dog because she was always mine, we got her in 5th grade from the pound and I've loved her ever since. She was technically mine and I took care of her forever, but my dad claimed I abandoned her by going to college and so I couldn't have her back when I got done with college and had room for her. But now I'm making emergency trips to Atlanta, the first one because my parents thought they were going to have to put her to sleep and again now because I had a bad feeling something had happened to her and my parents were extremely evasive about it...
She has nasal cancer (her snout is all cancerous tumors) and an abscess on her snout ruptured, which was good because it relieved pressure, but bad because it blew up everywhere... so Wilma had emergency surgery and apparently cancer has eaten away a lot of her skull and it's all grown back even though they just removed it a few weeks ago. So now Wilma is home, but continuing to struggling to breathe and continuing to have issues eating and walking and everything else. It's obvious she's in a lot of pain and it's awful to watch, but I can't bear to think about what's happening slowly and when anything might happen and what the future holds. I hate that this has happened to my family because this whole thing is more complicated than it seems and basically now my parents are questioning their own decisions in treating Wilma and doing radiation on the cancer (because Wilma is part of the 10% with a bad reaction to it) and we are all just dealing with so much. I can't believe this and how awful it all is...
I feel like I should write more and I sort of want to, but I'm not letting myself think about anything too much. Why dread what hasn't happened is my sort of motto for now. That and the need to keep it together because Wilma needs a lot of care right now... and I just wanted you all to be thinking good thoughts for her (me and Wilma and Bella would be very grateful as Bella has been very worried about Wilma).
