Showing posts with label my so-called life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my so-called life. Show all posts

"It's Okay NOT to be Okay."

"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart." -Angela Chase, "My So-Called Life"

I had a great chat with an old friend who I haven't seen in awhile tonight and I forget how much I like her. She's honest and believes in being open and telling you what's happening in her life without sugar coating it, yet she's a pretty kick-ass listener (because people can be okay at it, and then there are some where you really notice how good they are at it and she's one of those). And as she was leaving tonight, she reminded me to call her anytime and I told her I was okay, doing okay. And she casually leaned back and told me that it was okay if I wasn't doing okay, that's okay not to be okay.

And I hadn't realized how much I needed to hear that until she said it and something just clicked, and I just relaxed. Everyone wants you to say you're great when they ask how you're doing, they don't pause for the honest answer and she does. She wants to know. And she's okay with the messy stuff, with the crap, the horrible stuff no one wants to hear about. And sadly she's not always there to hear about it because she makes this offer to so many different people, but that's fine. I feel good just being reminded that every once in awhile people come along who listen and ask how you are and wait for the answer. And just listen. Without judgment.

I need to be more like that.

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About this Blog



The adventures of a twentysomething pursuing a Ph.D. in the behavioral sciences, living with the dog that is the love of my life, and battling everything from becoming an academic to small town insanity. I blog about everything related to sports, my dog, psychology and other social science stuff in the news, my dad's battle with cancer, dating in a world full of married people, and anything else I see that catches my eye!

Bella

Bella
(faithful sidekick and pound puppy - and she can obviously be much more intimidating when not playing in the snow in her pink fur-lined hoodie)

Me

Me
(the "Mel" of grad school infamy)