Earlier this summer I sort of decided that it took too much effort to self-regulate around friends and fellow grad students (mostly because I have to do that enough around professors, at work, with the family) and so I've just been saying what's on my mind for the most part. I like it. It's easier to breathe and function and deal with things, though I know I need to not say absolutely everything... but now I feel like I'm gossiping at times. Expressing dissatisfaction with others and how they might have treated me recently or weird news around the department. I think this problem may be exacerbated by the fact that I'm hanging out with lots of different people and so it's not just confiding in one person.
The problem isn't just that I bring up topics I know might be troublesome, but how do you answer point-blank questions about them? Where is the line between gossip and catharsis? When are you talking about your feelings to think through them and when are you just spreading the word? Is it okay if I don't take pleasure in it? And most importantly, how do I stop? (Because I feel like I only know afterwards when I get a feeling of regret or realize I shouldn't hvae said something AFTER I already said it, so I just want to stop rather than completely understand the line.)
6 days ago
