Sense of Justice

"You can't let one bad moment spoil a bunch of good ones." -Dale Earnhardt

Medical examiners and other such professionals have found it acceptable to tell the world that Steve McNair was killed by his girlfriend who then committed suicide. All the signs were there and many had speculated about what really happened before this "official" ruling, but still, the actual announcement of it makes it tangible and sad in a different (more real?) way.

McNair was one of the "good guys" - a pro-athlete who did a lot of charity work because he wanted to, not just to make amends or as part of court-ordered community service. He was a family man and active in the city he played for (well, spent most of his career with). And somehow he's shot by his girlfriend (he is or was married), just hours after she's arrested for DUI in a car that both of them co-own. It's sad and it's sketchy and it does taint the memory of a supposedly great guy...

It makes me sad because I feel like there's already very very little incentive for pro-athletes to do good in the world. The norms for pro-athlete behavior aren't the same as in the real world - pro-athletes are pressured to perform in completely different, measureable ways and they are surrounded with more temptation and money and choices than most of us will ever see and yet few of them have a college degree (which is not to say that you need a college degree to make good choices, but the whole college experience - the hard classes and academic hoops, the adventures and good friends, late nights and conversations - is something I believe can help you make good decisions). These guys receive far more air time and endorsement for bad behavior (look at Chad Ochocinco who sits around and thinks of bad things to do to others - frequently his teammates - so that he gets more attention and time on "SportsCenter" and builds his brand, whatever that means). And here, McNair was great as a professional athlete and seemed to be a great guy and what may have only been one mistake (the mistress/girlfriend) cost him his life and his legacy as one of the rare great guys and paragon of wise decisions for NFL rookies.

Maybe that's not the case and maybe the shock of the incident will fade and with that, the faint tarnish on his legacy... I just hope it fades before the whole thing becomes coated with a film of slime.

The Next Chapter in the Hunt for Mr. Right [Now]

For those of you who haven't followed this blog or forgot what happens in the embarrassingly long time between posts on the same subject that I have to admit to, I decided to take a more active approach to dating. This has obviously resulted in a number of hilarious and humiliating (and a few somewhat heartbreaking) moments and trials. Due in large part to the last "h" listed, I took a little break from dating for a bit and went back to my old stranger-danger and sweatpant scare tactics to discourage any potential suitors. But now that school's out, I decided it was time to get back on the horse (so to speak).

And thus, I present date #1 of this summer: a guy with a job who is from up north, but has very little education and lives with his parents. That last part is freaking me out already. He's a big sports fan and we do seem to get along fairly well, though I'm not sure I feel any real sparks. I hate it, but I know my tendency is to drag it out for longer because it's something to do and possibly get a little excited about and then I just want to postpone breaking it off... I go back and forth because I know it's not always love at first sight, but I don't want to lead anyone on. But then I know that it takes time to get to know someone and that the superficial things can change and so they don't matter. And I don't really know that it won't work out, not if I actually try to make it work...

In a lot of ways, I'm just really on the fence about it and I hate that feeling - there are some people that I know right away are a "yes" and then there are some "no" guys, but what do you do with the in-between guys? Enjoy a few more dates and then make a decision?

I've honestly changed my mind approximately 7 times today and am ultimately glad I didn't act on any of those "decisions." What do you guys think? When do you cut your losses and when do you invest more?

And a note: When looking for some kind of image or something clever to post with this entry, I found some articles on girls hooking up v. having relationships (written from a variety of perspectives, from how women judge men's faces and their attractiveness based up on how interested in children he appears to be to an investigation of the shunning of real relationships by young women). This has led me to wonder if I should read this book by Laura Sessions Stepp called Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both. I searched for this book online and there seems to be a lot of backlash against this writer and her seeming crusade to protect virginity and abstinence, but there also seems to be some interesting literature about the changing sexuality of young women. I think some of this is going to have to be added to my summer reading list...